Sunday, October 28, 2007

Internet Dating

Ok internets (as BooMama is wont to say), I've pondered all weekend whether to put this out there, but I just can't resist anymore. I've told one or two friends and they were appropriately flabbergasted and outraged on my behalf. I feel the need to share with the rest of you and see if you think I was overreacting.....or what your rationale might be. Then maybe I can forget this piece of drama.

So, some of you know that I've (albeit somewhat reluctantly) subscribed to the adventure that is internet dating. One particular site that promises to match you along so many dimensions of compatibility (vague enough for you?). I've had lots and lots of matches, but so far, very few of these guys seem compelled to talk with me. (leading me to question if this is, in fact, the method with which God will reveal my husband.....but that is a discussion for another day)

So, Thursday I received what appeared to be a promising match....and I sent him questions to answer. To my surprise and delight (and slight trepidation), he proceeded to "fast track" our communication --- which only means we skip the back and forth guided communication and move straight into actual email messages (though still through the system).

Imagine my reaction when this is the message I received:

thanks for requesting communication. I'm currently pursuing another
relationship and thus I consider myself unavailable. However, you seem interesting and I think it might be nice to just know you. Your a CPA and I'm a CFP so we both are financially oriented. We probably think a lot alike. Would you like to get together sometime and get acquainted as a friend.

To put it quite mildly, I was shocked. Flabbergasted is the word that came most readily to my mind. Really? Is he serious? What in the world did he imagine that I would say?

Well, apparently, I didn't provide a response quickly enough (or he actually proceeded to use his brain and realized he had taken a large inappropriate leap), and he closed me out before I was able to send him my well-rehearsed answer:

Thanks for your note. I appreciate your compliment, but honestly, I'm not paying for this service to just meet new friends. I'm actively searching for my husband and if you are involved with someone else, then I guess you are not him. I don't feel that it would be appropriate for us to begin even a friendship if you are involved with someone else. Good luck with your search.
So, what do you think? Did I over-react or was he just completely out of his mind??


In slightly related news, the newest Kia commercials are offensive to Seriously? It may be playing on this whole trend of internet dating, but it makes me never want to give that car company any money.


Anonymous said...

Commenting on Patrick Mead's blog has worked pretty well for me... :)

I'm sorry that you're having to go through all this.

Sarah B said...

OK, so I agree this particular guy a loser. Don't think you were wrong in your reaction. Either he doesn't understand the purpose of the website or he's just a cheat. Neither is a good option. Sorry, Friend. ~ Haven't seen the kia commercials. I'll keep an eye out and hate them on principle just for you :)

Jenn said...

not your "friend" but i do love to give advice to everyone and why should you not benefit from my worldly knowledge??? okay, yep, he's a loser and a player. i bet the girl that he is "with" would not have appreciated that. my dear friend is getting married this coming weekend to a guy that she met on myspace. they have dated over a year and he is not a "weirdo". have you thought about myspace or facebook? especially since it's FREE! glad to be of service...

Jenn said...

okay, i just read my comment and it came off totally rude. i was trying to be funny and was not very successful. so, please re-read the aforementioned comment and imagine me talking out of the side of my face and winkin' and slappin' the knee and everything, okay? thanks. :o)

pdr2 said...

Kia does kinda suck.

jettybetty said...

You did not over-react.
He is out of his mind.

I can't give up that internet dating can work. Just not every time.

I am praying for you!

Char said...

Aw, I've never commented on your blog before, but had to come out of lurkdom to say something about this post. I'm so sorry you had that kind of experience, and no, you did not over-react!

Just to give you some encouragement - Internet dating CAN work, and work well. :-) I met my hubby at And interestingly enough, in our little congregation in Las Vegas, we weren't the only ones. Three other couples who met online (two of which met at the cofc site) have attended since I moved here. (For some reason, the Christian men in Las Vegas appear to have better luck when they "import" their women through the Internet!) :-)

Anyway, best wishes to you! Don't give up because of some clueless joker.

Little Light said...

Sounds like this guy doesn't mind wasting his money. What a pain!